Why Do I React This Way? Understanding Your Emotional Triggers and Learning to Rewire

Nidhi Pandey
Jul 7
4 min read

Anger. Guilt. Anxiety. Helplessness.

If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I feel this way—and why can’t I stop it?”, you’re not alone.

At RewireWithNidhi, I meet clients every week—working professionals, homemakers, and students—struggling with emotions that seem to hijack their minds and bodies.

They’re not “too sensitive” or “overthinking”—they’re emotionally overwhelmed, often stuck in patterns they don’t know how to break.

Let’s walk through a few real-life examples and unpack what’s really happening.

🧑‍💼 Aashman, 28 – Dealing with Anger Issues at Work

Aashman had always been a high achiever, but over the past 2 years, he found himself constantly triggered by feedback.

Even gentle suggestions at work made him defensive, his voice would rise, and he’d feel like he needed to justify everything.

👉 "I just feel like people are out to prove me wrong."

Soon, colleagues avoided giving input. His team stopped collaborating. His confidence took a hit.

Client Pain Point: "Why do I get angry when someone corrects me?"Insight: Aashman's anger wasn’t the root problem—it was a defense mechanism, protecting deeper emotions of inadequacy and fear of failure.

🏠 Sonal, 36 – Guilt and Emotional Burnout as a Homemaker

Sonal, a full-time mother and homemaker, found herself feeling constantly irritated, snapping at her kids, and then crying herself to sleep.

👉 “I feel guilty all the time. If I rest, I feel I’m wasting time. If I shout, I feel I’m a bad mother. I feel I’ve lost myself.”

Her days blurred into chores, with no space for her own needs. She carried anticipatory guilt (fear of making a mistake) and reactive guilt (after lashing out)—both keeping her in a cycle of emotional exhaustion.

Client Pain Point: "Why do I always feel like I’m not doing enough—even when I’m burnt out?"Insight: Sonal’s emotional triggers stemmed from societal conditioning, perfectionism, and lack of emotional self-care.

🎓 Ananya, 20 – Anxiety and Helplessness in College Life

Ananya was a bright student but was feeling overwhelmed by academic pressure, social expectations, and career confusion.

👉 "Even when I study, I feel like I’m not doing enough. I wake up with a tight chest, and my heart races before exams."

She wasn’t “lazy” or “too anxious”—she was stuck in future-focused worry that created chronic anxiety. Her brain interpreted uncertainty as danger.

Client Pain Point: "Why do I overthink everything and feel paralysed?"Insight: Ananya’s anxiety was her mind’s way of coping with uncertainty, lack of control, and fear of disappointing others.

🧠 So, What’s Really Happening with Our Emotions?

Emotions are not random. They are patterns of thought, physical reactions, and conditioned beliefs. They are shaped by:

Personal experiences
Family and social conditioning
Internal stories we tell ourselves

We tend to label ourselves—“I’m just short-tempered”, “I’m too emotional”—but that keeps us from healing the root cause.

Let’s break it down further.

🌀 Primary vs. Secondary Emotions: Understanding Layers

Primary emotions are natural, instant reactions—like joy, anger, sadness, or fear.
Secondary emotions are shaped by how we feel about those feelings—like guilt about being angry, or shame for feeling anxious.

👉 Example:You feel angry at your partner (primary), then ashamed for overreacting (secondary). You suppress both—and it stays unresolved.

🌱 Sources of Emotional Triggers

Your dominant emotions often reflect the source of your emotional pain:

Source	Emotion	Examples
Self	Guilt	“I should’ve helped…”
Another Person	Anger	“They insulted me…”
Situations	Helplessness	“I can’t control this…”
Future	Anxiety	“What if I fail…?”